One of the most consequential and painful decision we make – what was your thought process throughout your relationships?
We expect to be deeply happy in love and wonder if our relationships are normal sexually and psychologically
What films, novels, friends relationship status, noise around dating apps and how much sleep we’ve had can all play large rolls in influencing us to stay or leave
It seems no one else really minds what we end up doing which gives decision existential loneliness but historically the choice was easier due to external pressures around not leaving. Religions, societal shame and psychologists would say children would be scarred.
But now religion has fallen away, society doesn’t care and psychologists say kids prefer a broken family vs and unhappy one
So it all comes down to our shifting feelings
1. How much of the unhappiness can be attributed to this particular partner? Or how much is it from ANY attempt to live in close proximity to another person?
2. What part of the discord are you contributing to? In what way are we hard to be around?
3. Consider the annoying things about previous partner that current partner doesn’t have. What do we manage not to fight about?
4. Investigate new infatuations or crushes by getting to know them better
5. Observe how many people the single people around you actually manage to encounter
6. Try to have a talk with your partner where you dont accuse them of untruthfulness and explain how you actually feel and how sad you are about things
7. Reflect on how youd feel as a child if you knew youd have 2 tiny bedrooms, 2 parents, more kids
8. Question how normal it is for any couple to have sex after 22 months together
9. Ask yourself if youre ready for no more than exchanging unhappiness together vs a new kind of unhappiness while single. Wonder about hope over experience
If you still have impulse to leave with chances of regret lessened a bit – leave